This is an older poem I wrote for a dear friend of mine who was hitting their bottom. I am pleased to say that One Day at A Time, they've now celebrated 2 years of sobriety.
When I write I sometimes put myself in other's shoes.... I sometimes feel the pain and frustrations etc....And it comes out in my writing.... I find this allot and it ends up I switch from "I" to "you" or "you " to " I". I feel what the other person might feel and write down the emotions that they may be going through.
We all know someone that has an addiction... One Day at a Time is what they say and Keep it Simple.... Let go and let God... All good words of advice with or without addictions...
A JOURNEY WORTH TAKING
Alcohol and drugs, Oh Boy we had fun!
I just wish I could remember all that I’ve done.
Me have a problem? Oh NO NOT I!
You watched what I used, unless you did spy
You couldn’t have found all my hiding places.
For I was smart and made you keep paces
I only use because of distress
Can’t you see all my troubles, my life is a mess
My life is complicated and you don’t understand
When I use I can cope, my life I command
My friends they drifted and I didn’t know why
I know now that they couldn’t watch me die
I was killing myself, I was in denial
How could you all put me on trial?
I’m in control is what I kept saying
Deep down inside I was secretly praying
My life had spun downward and out of control
My using and drinking could no longer console
My fears and beliefs all seemed to collide
I had to find someone in whom to confide
I talked to people “about someone I knew”
To test the waters, I asked only a few
Most of them knew I was talking about me
They mentioned AA and people to see
I still couldn’t face this disease that I had
I hadn’t hit bottom, I wasn’t “that bad”.
My family and friends gave me intervention
I sat, watched, and listened to all that was mentioned
I saw their concern and kind of agreed
I’d go talk to a councilor, at least that much I need
As soon as I went, my family did change
So I pretended my life to rearrange
But each time I went I silently knew
That what people had said was sad but true
My life was unmanageable, I was powerless
I still couldn’t stop, of this I confess
My bottom was close but I hadn’t yet hit
I still wanted control but had to submit
I’d picked up enough from my friends and family
And my councilor had said, from DT’s you can’t flee
Instead of that drink I always kept stashed
I picked up the phone and didn’t get smashed
On to my councilors and then to ER
Afraid as I was, I had come this far
I was were I needed to be at that time
My family and friends were waiting in line
I’ve reached my bottom, ready to start recovery
I can no longer think straight was all I could see
Into a program, now how did I get here?
No family, no friends, just me and my fear
The first days were hard and I wanted to leave
Then I remembered the past and had to believe
I was at my first step, admitting I was powerless
I honestly looked at my life, oh what a mess
I can’t do it alone. I must turn my life and my will
To a higher power and my new friend Bill
Bill W. and his steps, there are twelve
Instead of a drink, into them I must delve.
To learn how to live One Day at A Time
Keep It Simple, Turn it over, this is not a line
I’ve tools that I’m learning that help me to cope
Like cleaning out my life with water and soap
Taking care of myself, staying healthy and strong
I must change old habits and get rid of what’s wrong
There are temptations around all that I’ve known
Instead of a drink I can now pick up the phone
Help is so near I just have to give in
Quit holding back and let my new life begin
I can pick up the phone and call my sponsor
I need a meeting is what they concur
I listen and keep what I need, leaving the rest
For my friends in AA they are the best
They help keep me honest and learn not to hide
My feelings and problems deep down inside
For if I go back to my old way of life
I’ll only get back all my misery and strife
I’m still afraid for my family and friends
They won’t understand as I make my amends
But all I can do is keep doing my best
Let Go and Let God and He’ll do the rest
I wish family and friends could learn as I’ve learned
To A-lanon and Al-ateen that right they have earned.
To learn how to change and then how to cope
Co-dependent’s no fun but there’s always hope.
I learned I can’t change anyone but me
With tools they can learn, they’ll find their key
To forgive and to love without regret
For through all of this a new life I have met
I’m learning to live, be happy, have fun
For One Day at A Time, by life's just begun
I look in the mirror and like what I see
As living this program has set me free
The tools and the steps and friends that I make
Will help me survive for my life is at stake
I remember my past but on that I can’t dwell
For I no longer want to live that old hell
I can not go back to the life I once had
I must move forward and for that I am glad
If I get moody and start to offend
Remind me of AA for that’s my new friend
I must change to keep sober and straight
Each new day I do count and celebrate
I think back on my life and that first intervention
And now I can’t wait for my first AA convention
With help and humility I’m learning to cope
For instead of despair, I now have new HOPE.
Know as your reading, I wish you the best
Take what you need, and leave the rest.
Written with Love and Light and Hope
Nina P. 1/6/2006
